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My massive consumption of alcohol
Shriveled my brain to a little ball
and now i don't think
I just drink, drink, and drink
cause that's what I do best of all
There was a young
maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think---
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass
There was a young maid from Norway
Who hung by her heels in a doorway
She said to her beau
Look here, Joe
I think I've found one more way.
There once was a man named McGill,
Whose acts grew exceedingly ill,
He insisted on habits,
involving white rabbits,
and a bird with a flexible bill.
Don’t scroll lower if easily offended
There once was a
chick named Alice
who used dynamite for a phallus
it blew a hole in her vagina
like South Carolina
and bits of her tits were in Dallas
There was a young
girl from Balmoral
whose habits were highly immoral.
For the price of a dime
she took three at a time,
one fore, one aft, and one oral.
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There once was a boy from Montreal
Who loved to play basketball
For a team he tried out
But if he made it, I doubt
For you see, he was three feet tall!
One day, when Sammy the snail
Stepped out to fetch his mail,
A human being
Without really seeing
Well. It’s a sad, sad tale
There once was a lady named Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin,
that when she assayed
to drink lemonade,
she slipped through the straw and fell in!
A young woman from the Land Where the Sun Rises
Had boobs of unequal sizes.
The left one was small
And didn't seem abnormal at all,
But the right one was huge and won prizes.
Don’t scroll lower if easily offended
There was a young lady from Sydney
who could take it right up to her kidney,
but a man from Quebec
put it up to her neck
My, he had a long one, now didn’t he.
Said a coed from Duke University
when asked about sexual diversity,
"Screwing’s okay
in the old fashioned way,
but I do like a touch of perversity.
There was a young student named Jones
who reduced all maidens to groans
by his wonderful knowledge
acquired in college
of nineteen erogenous zones.
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